i am shocked
you know when you need something?
when you're working towards something... you're visualizing it....
visualizing it like an impressionist painting...
Monet's sunsets, vague, full of color, alluding to something....details obscured
that's where I'm at. I have a clear "Monet" vision of the future. The feelings are so vivid, the energy clear...details, not so much.
So yesterday I was over at SouleMama. I love to frequent her blog. I find it inspiring to read of someone who lives, to some degree, similarly to me. I love her photo's...the color and light. Anyway, she had a sponsor giveaway happening so down I scroll to read about it.
My stomach twists, i felt compelled both to comment AND turn off the computer and run away. I decide to comment, thus entering myself in the draw, which was shockingly challenging for me. I thought to myself..."I never win these things anyway" followed quickly by "just watch, I'll win this because I'm so darned afraid of it....because I actually need it...because I would never just go do something like this for myself (not with a coin jar to fill)."
light spills forth and details become slightly more clear...
I am grateful...did I mention scared?...pretty freaked?? that to.
(you might need to read Susannahs "about me" to understand the fear part....)