Saturday, February 13, 2010

~seeing (RED)~ (or the greatest treasure)

Today I ventured forth into the wide world, solo.
That's right. Solo.
As in, no kids, no hubby, no dog.
Just me.
Now in order to truly understand the scope of this you would have to know me fairly well....well enough to understand that I don't generally EVER go out alone. I am family loving mama who, for the most part, just wants to be with my crew. I lived the first 20 years-ish of my life running solo and have got to say that since having my children, lovin my hubby life has NEVER been so good. That said I do realize that it important to fuel this mama machine that I am. Feed it that life giving, soul connection of however small a serving.

Today's serving...a lovely day in K-town...big city 1 hour north...with my dear pal Tricia. Tricia also being mama to 4 bits of magic...both of us in need of some thrift shopping therapy.

One of the things I love most about thrift shopping is the treasure hunt. Digging through racks of weird and wonderful in search of that perfect item that screams "pick me!!" and I eagerly answer "YES!".

I passionately love thriftin' it up. To me new clothing is simply unnecessary (unless of course you scour the racks of numerous thrift shops and STILL cannot find a pair of pants...which happens....or you find some great piece on etsy☺) ANYWay...back to my train of thought. so, yes...I am a hard core thrift is always my first choice and to me each find is bliss encarnate...really. I'm that silly:)

SO off T and I go, happily chatting as I drive down the highway on this rare sunny day (after weeks of cloud cover...ugh!) we pull into the parking lot of VV and practically skip to the door (she's hardcore like that, too) We shop side by side for a while and then split off down our various aisles to see what might be seen. This moment was sooooooooooo peaceful to me. No kids asking me to buy them a million plastic toys (which we are, apparently lacking...what about all are super cool wood stuff guys?) Eventually they get lost in the book section, supervised by hubby and I..tag teaming for a venture into the shop. And then there's darling Adam, who, as much as he won't pay more the maybe $8 for pants, is ready to go before I've even made it through 1 section. ((sigh)) so this rare gem of an opportunity was something to be treasured indeed.

I love where my mind goes during these times. When I can actually finish a though and follow it through to the next (novel, I know!) And can you guess where my thoughts lead? of them?

Ethiopia. Adoption. AIDS. Our children. Their children. Mama's. not enough mama's...

I think to myself...the way things have been flowing lately I wonder if some odd, goose pimply magical thing will happen today. One of those things that affirms that you are on the right path. Maybe I'll find one of those cool Hearts for Ethiopia Shirts?? hahaha...that WOULD be magic.

but I know magic...I know that it happens to us when we need it. I know that it brings us to a place where we can learn and grow in the direction we need. I know that it brings a sense of reverence. of wonder. of grace.

oh, yes. I've met magic before.

so on I shop. loading my cart with shelves for my sewing center, clothes for Adam, clothes for me....I'm perusing the t shirt section when what do you suppose I find?? seriously....can you guess?????

this: an olive colored t with the word TREASU(RED) . you all know what that means right? that means that I had to use every single ounce of self control I have not to burst into heaving sobs right there in the middle of Value Village. I stood there, laughed out loud....looked around to see if anyone had spotted my insanity (nope) and took many deep, slow breaths trying to get my shit together. (yes I said shit...but should have seen me!!) I find T and spill the beans..actually tear up as I tell the books section by the change rooms...I exclaim that magic has found me once again and I am shaking like a leaf because ...well.....shizza...maybe you have to be adopting to understand...maybe you have to be sooo in love with a place and its people that you can barely breath sometimes...or maybe you can just feel this as I exude how much this simple little moment...this worn t-shirt in a thrift shop, means to me.

little steps along the way...little affirmations.....little bits of Grace.

I wonder if a t-shirt of mine will ever be so treasu(red) ?

have a very, very red day tomorrow!!! soooooo much love!!!



daniela said...

i love those 'proof you aren't alone' moments. obviously the universe heard you call your babies home & that was synchronicity giving you confirmation that they are on their way.
blessed be sister-in-love, my heart swells for the clan.

courtney rose said...

YAY! I love those moments- and love how touched you were to be experiencing one....

Mark and Heidi said...

I would have burst into tears, no doubt about it!

Kimberly said...

Little bits of grace. Oh yes, sweet Jenn. That I can understand. The heart doesn't have to ache in the exact same way to know what it is to ache. ~hugs~

Rowan Family Tree said...

Howdy - just wanted to stop by and remind you about the get-together next weekend - we'd love to seee ya there!


Julie said...

Love it.