Saturday, May 22, 2010


I am blissful on multiple levels.  

I feel happy and content

And the excitement?  Don't even get me started or I swear I might just blast off into orbit!  Cheesy I know but its SO true.

You see, as soon as we arrived, literally the moment we pulled into our new town something shifted.  It might be fair to say that it began shifting as soon as we made the choice to come here, but I could actually FEEL it happening when we arrived.  

It was like the planets came into alignment.  Some huge cosmic shift occurred that created this perfect moment.  The moment that whispered into my soul and said "guess babies will be home soon!"

I've mentioned many times that there have been a few contributing factors to the fact that we have yet to begin our adoption in actual reality.  Paper work I mean.  

One of those factors was the fact that we have felt unsettled.  We knew that there was a move on the horizon we just didn't know when , or how (or that there were actually 2 moves!)  

To me settling is the beginning of a domino effect.  The one thing that needed to happen before all of the other pieces could fall into place.  Well, let me tell you, they are falling now!  
I want to sing it from the mountain top.  Harmonize with my echo so that the world can know just how deeply beautiful a thing this is for me.  I'm spouting happy tears all the time, watering this garden in the spring time of change.

We found a home.  Oddly we decided to rent. I was not expecting this, thought that buying would make me feel more settled but, apparently not.  A big part of this is realizing that if we buy we will jump back into a huge renovation project (this is the land of 100 year old houses that need a lot of work) which will suck up all our funds for the next hundred years...dangling our adoption even more out of reach.  I think that Adam is beginning to fully understand that I can't handle waiting that much longer...I think I might loose my marbles if another year goes by before we begin the paper chase.  He even suggested today that we hold a fundraiser garage sale once we move in!  A in, for our adoption!!!  And he agreed that we can start our home study so that its done when we're ready!!  seriously!!!!!!!!!!  If only the computer had something other then an exclamation mark...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, lol

This very happy mama is feeling abundantly grateful.

Monday, May 10, 2010

~a random update~


My last post was kind of needs to be that way but I do hope that one day I can fill you all in on the details.  For now I'm moving on, so as not to go all twitchy here in our motel room;)

I can barely believe how beautiful this place is! green, so many trees.  This place is lush...ferns and moss.  After living in a semi-arid desert I feel like my soul has been irrigated after being parched!  And rain, actual rain!  I am one of those gals who loves the rain, who wants to stroll, cozy hat on, hands wrapped around a mug of steaming tea, in the rain.  The smell, the way you can almost hear the earth singing its thanks to the sky.  Love it!

We have been hunting for houses...looking online, looking on MLS, being shown house after house by our realtor.  House here are pricey, which is a bit hard to swallow considering what we sold our last, amazing  place for.  (the same amount would buy a shabby apartment here, ugh!)  But this place is so amazing that its worth the house prices!

I discovered a wee shop the other day, recommended by an amazing women that I recently met.  It is a natural toy and supply store specializing in Waldorf stuff.  It is heaven to me!  seriously!  I have been putting together orders through Mercurius and different doll making companies for the last decade.  Having things shipped, hoping the colours are right.  This store is like a well stocked version of my craft space.  And I can just walk down the street and land in the middle of this magical place!  Roving in every colour you could imagine, wool and silk...fabric for doll making (including a darker, more chocolaty brown for my African babes!), they have amazing toys and tones of crafting/ schooling supplies.  They hold workshops on felting and doll making.  I plan to inquire as to weather they would be interested in carrying my dolls.  They have a few in there but the ones I make are a bit different.  It would be so cool to sell some locally!

Today we get back into our home learning groove.  We need something "normal" in our lives right now and have so much time to fill.  I'm so glad to be finishing up our books for the year!  Things have been so crazy around our place and we've been on a 6 week break.  So back to the crunch (lol, this is a funny thought if you knew what we actually do, lol.)  The kids are excited to be getting to work on our Story of the World....they are loving history!

please keep sending us your positive home finding thoughts!!  seems we could use all the help we can get! 

Thursday, May 6, 2010

~ the unexpected~

I met him and fell in love.  
It was unexpected.  
I knew I would find him sweet... all babies are sweet, and I am , after all, a baby whisperer...I knew that I would give him cuddles, oh and ah over the cuteness that is his tiny little fists.  
But this?  This I did not expect.

He is tiny, on the planet only 8 short weeks.  He is perfect.  I dream about him all the time...awake or asleep.  
I want to be his mama so bad that it physically hurts.  
It has been 5 weeks since I left....5 weeks.
I want to be his mama.
I did not expect this.

He is creamy white, not chocolate brown.... although his eyes, his eyes will be mine.

I wonder at that.  I know that still, while we are in this mode of settling, of buying our home, that Ethiopia is still a ways away.  I can wait.  I am patient.  

But in the time between now and then I have heart has many spaces waiting to be filled....but one? one of those spaces ha been filled by him.  by his perfection.  by his essence that enraptures me in a way so he was always my son even before he was conceived by another mother.

I don't even know if its possible.  I want the very best in the world for him.  That he will be loved and nurtured.  That he will always know, never ever doubt that he is loved.

He live many miles away.

I love him.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

~ oh the adventure ~

I am sitting in a motel...a suit that we have booked for a month while we get the whole house thing figured out.
We had planned to camp.  We ventured off into the lush, green provincial park, set up our super amazing 4 season 8 person tent, tarpped out a "kitchen" and set up house. 

Night 1: kids cozy and warm, Adam and I? frozen, sore and sleep deprived.  

Night 2: kids cozy and warm, Adam and I cozy and warm, torrential 24 hour downpour turning our tent into something not entirely unlike sleeping inside a snare drum in a marching band....actually, louder and far more committed then  that.  (did i mention I'm claustrophobic...not fun, not fun at all)  

Needless to say when we woke up, Adam already off to work, I declared that camping was officially over and off we went to our cozy, favorite motel.

I am LOVING this motel!!  Simple pleasures like hot water and walls...who knew motel living could be so grand??

On a serious note we are on the hunt for our new home.  I am doing my darnedest to wrap myself in the faith that made this all possible in the first place.  I am re acquainting myself with trust...feeling it more and more as I recover from 2 days of the worst camping trip EVER!!  But I made it this far with sanity intact.  Through weeks of husband less packing.  Through the crazy adventure that scrubbing our 3600 sq ft house turned out to be....thanks to some amazing friends who came to help out!  I couldn't have done it without you guys!

I am sitting here now, sipping my Egyptian Licorice tea watching my children engrossed in a game....its amazing what a basket of animals/magical creature can inspire.  Their sweet jammied bodies sprawled out on the carpet for the third hour in a row.  Yay for creative children!!

And me?  Today I book appointments with our realtor, I crunch numbers to see if an amazing place is in our reach, I relax....and apparently I blog.

oh, and I dream of babies.....apparently this is becoming an every night phenomenon.