Sunday, September 19, 2010
The time has come for a shift. I will be closing this blog and moving to new turf... don't worry I'll keep you posted so we can stay connected:) until then I'll leave you with this lovely little diddy. (thanks Courtney:) Go on, dance about you living room while the outside world shifts to Autumn! Bliss I tell you!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I am lucky to have so many in my life.
truly amazing women and men who inspire me regularly,
who reflect things back to me that I might not have otherwise seen.
who honor and love their family's
who honor and love their friends
who honor and love themselves (or are learning to) and speak their truths about the beauties and challenges of parenting.
their is something sacred to me about these relationships.
something that calls me to a higher place within myself,
that reminds me who I am and inspires me to fulfil my dreams.
I went with my family back to where we recently moved from.
We went to honor a women who I love and cherish dearly.
good friends here came together and made sacrifices to tend to our dog so that we could make the journey. Papas beautifully brought the children together... play and food and laughter, while the mama's went to wrap our beloved friend in huge, beaming radiant love.
There, in that room, surrounded by all of this supportive, nurturing, loving energy for this amazing women, I felt awe.
I felt gratitude.
I felt life.
songs and tears flowed like wine, voice sang and spoke their truths. love blossomed into a beautiful thing that filled us all with something.... something words can not express.
coming together like that, to hold and cherish the one of us who is in need of loving support, having the opportunity to actually say at the very least a fraction of what I feel to her... magic.
how did it happen?
how is it that somehow, within this completely malfunctioning society, our broken culture, that we have been able to begin to rebuild what community truly is? It is amazing.... like grace in the old school song... that saved a wretch like me.
because the reality is that I once was lost... like the majority of people out there who struggle day to day to find what it is to be a women, to be a man. who battle their instincts with the current trends in parenthood. who struggle with self image. who have no idea what it is like to be carried when they have fallen because we have forgotten what it is like to NOT be alone.
but we're not alone.
I am not alone.
you are not alone.
she is not alone.
we are in this together.
these people are my Grace and I am glad to be part of theirs as well.
I love you all!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I guess I'll sit and write then.
I've sat down at my sewing table.
stared blankly at half finished projects.
thought about the dolls I should make for the store that is now carrying them.
stared at the piles of colorful wool roving.
thought about her.
thought about the color green.
thought about the beaded bracelet...
green and powerful, made by mama's who are changing their lives through beads...
she was away then.
missed the bead party.
she was in the hospital having a bone marrow transplant.
I saw it.
thought of her.
thought of the way her amazing smile could light up a room.
as if she herself were life manifest.
green and growing.
when she returned, tired but smiling...finding strength that put me in awe, I gave it to her.
I didn't know her favorite color was green..
just new that those beads needed to be hers.
wanted her to remember her powerful life force.
wanted to empower her.
wanted to tell her that I loved her.
that I thought she was one of the most amazing people I ever met.
wanted to do more,
to somehow ease her burdens,
to somehow take away her pain.
I gave her a bracelet.
lost my words.
told her it reminded me of her.
that's all I said.
maybe I said more...I just remember wishing I had said more
I hoped she heard everything else through my breath.
the things I didn't say.
tomorrow I will travel to her.
I will say everything that I did not say.
I will wrap her in the warmth of my love and respect.
of my admiration.
I will weep with this overflowing emotion.
I am trying to comprehend this thing that comes into peoples bodies and calls them to another place.
I'm trying not to be angry that it is draining her.
but I am.
I know she doesn't want to leave him.
she is holding on for him.
putting on her brave mama face.
her beautiful face that looks at him with longing.
I've never seen that kind of longing in a mamas eyes before.
its almost more then I can bare.
she is his everything.
oh that I could ease her pain.
sweet, sweet mama.