Tuesday, September 23, 2008

~time for change~

I have a hankerin' to go shopping. A need for some snazzy new clothes....a pair of shoes. Something for me. There is only one problem....money and the lack there of. And so I have decided that since my *money for mama to spend on herself* is negligible I will update other aspects of my life.....this blog for instance. Sure I only had the other rather lovely template for a few weeks, but when the season calls for change, change we must. So here it is...my snazzy new *dud's*...me, fully decked out in the latest blogger fashion..lolol. Hope you like my new look!!


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

~The BEST Birthday cake EVER~

Well, I turned 30 a few days ago. I LOVE being 30....I love aging. Is it odd that I look forward to the days when my hair is long and gray??...peppered with the memory of brown. When the wrinkles on my face trace the lines of my experiences. I long for well defined smile lines...crows feet at my eyes that show the bliss I have lived even when I sleep. I look forward to doing yoga on my deck in the early morning light with my hubby, something I am way to busy to do now. Baking bread with my grandbabies. Watching my children continue to grow into the amazing people that they are.

Speaking of which, our awesome son Mr. Bop made me the best birthday cake I have ever had....

~10 things that....joining the land of lists~

~10 things that make me blissfull in the morning~

1~ sunshine....the way it angels through my windows, through the towering trees the separate our house from the road.....(Eazee...what a great name for a road...)no matter the season...oh, but especially in the winter when a heavy frost fog comes through and everything is covered with ice...OMGosh, like being surrounded by a cathedral of diamonds.....truly breath taking.

2~the sleepy smell of my sweet babes.....lingering coziness, warmth that seems to cling to their hair. I love to hold them and inhale that morning smell, mmmm. especially when they rather sleepily tell me of there dreams....oh~oh the sweetest thing.

3~tea...I LOVE my morning tea.....speaking of which I must go grab my freshly steeped mug, uno momento....ahhh, thats better. my mug, steaming, filled with an organic Rooiboos with a touch of sugar(organic...I ran out of honey) and a splash of soy milk. other favorites: masala chai, licorice spice...which is kinda odd since I really don't like licorice...tea, early gray, hot....lol...lovely red raspberry leaf...oh heck...just toss some herbs and spices in a cup and I'll probably love it. I do have a rather expansive tea collection.

4~ oatmeal.....I LOVE oatmeal and no, not quaker quick oats (ewww, glue like nastyness) my precious organic, slow cooking oats....thick cut and fragrant. I love the ritual of it...going into the pantry, reaching up to the shelf covered with glass jars filled with grains/pastas/nuts. Boiling the water, turning it down, adding the oats...letting them simmer, unstirred until they reach a state of perfection. Filling my bowl, adding raisins and hemp hearts...maybe sliced apples and cinnamon....drizzling pure maple syrup and adding the ice cold soy milk. mmmmm. (okay, I realize that this may seem a bit excessive, after all it is just breakfast, but I'm a passionate person and this is FOOD we're talking about!)

5~ sitting on the couch with my man for a few minutes of chatting, he with his coffee, I with my tea. a bit of calm before the whirlwind of the day.....pure bliss

6~ hearing the phone ring and knowing that its my sis C declaring that she is coming over because she absolutely MUST get out of her house. saying that we will be productive...maybe fold laundry or paint something...but knowing full well that we will sit and drink tea (yes, more tea) and get engulfed in amazing conversation whilst we watch the babies play and referee the big guys outside.

7~ hearing the phone ring and knowing its my other sister, S (I always seem to know when its them calling) calling to fill me in on the happenings in her life way the heck out in Manitoba, which, by that way, is WAYYYYY to far away from me!!! (notice the pout.....(stamps foot)) we chat between her clients (she's a hair dresser) and I hang up longing to sit and share tea face to face (again with the tea....) and hold my sweet Monkia, who is getting so big and soon might forget that her Auntie Jenn is the next best thing to her momma.....(I can't actually think about it to much because my throat and eyes fill with the pain of it all)

okay....dry eyes.....back to bliss

8~ fresh air. I so rarely get outside first thing in the morning, when I do I swear I can hear a chorus of lil' fairies singing praises to the sun. I can't wait until we move and have our main living space on ground level and I can walk outside with my tea (okay, enough with the tea...I might be obsessed, not addicted.. I very rarely drink caffeine...really!) wander through my garden...dew on the toes of my woollen slippers....collect the eggs (I'm gonna have chickens!!) have a conversation with my cat who tends to walk along with me and tell me of all her mid-night adventures.

9~listening to my kids play....they always seem to get along so well in the morning.....ooh....yeah (ignoring the yells of eldest daughter aimed towards littlest brother as he takes down her fabulous something or other....sigh) well.....they light up my life even still.....see, and now there is peace again...problem solved and I didn't even need to get my tooshie off this chair!

10~getting ready for the days activity while listening to melodies that set the tone.....right now I'm listening to my lovely friend Kim's play list...a tune I've never heard before and am loving...Love Song by Sara Barellies. thanxs Kim darlin'!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

~september brings her inspirations~

I am sooooo in love with home learning (Dad-e-o keeps asking why I say schooling when what we do is so NOT schooling). Our mornings are filled with inquisitive discovery and some how we keep being done at exactly 12:00!! How we managed that I have yet to figure out...but regardless, the flow of teaching all these sweet babes is going so much more smoothly then I expected. I have time for everyones needs and lessons...complete with projects and novel reading near the end.

One thing I am finding so serendipitous....our Africa study. Beena decided last April that she wanted to study Africa. This was way before Dad-e-o and started talking about possibly adopting from Ethiopia. And now, with my heart so open to the possibility of more children in our lives I am finding myself emersed in a multi-faceted study! It is so cool!! Even the novel that I am reading to Eden is set in Ethiopia in the 1840's.( http://www.janekurtz.com/books/saba.html ) Written by a white women who grew up there, the story comes from the perspective of a 12 year old girl...and it is beautifully and poetically written, which speaks to Edens heart. At the end of the book there is a whole section on a girls life in Ethiopia then and now.

Shifting directions....I am almost done with our application for Mr.Bop's special ed funding for "school". How this program works for me is yet to be seen. It is a bit more work then our already somewhat labor intensive Self Design program http://www.wondertree.org/ but there is a lot of support and our Learning Consultant is very open/unschooly and has loads of experience with autistic kids. I do believe that I might have found a mentor for Mr.Bop as well....someone to do 1 on 1 work in his line of passions ~ nature and all her splendor. http://www.earthwisetours.com/ I have talked with her about the possibility and will talk more after Mr.Bop and Beena have taken part in her Nature Journeys which starts next week. I think the idea kind of intimidated her a bit...the whole label of Autism can be freaky for some people. but I am sure that will shift once she meets him and is able to see his passion and focus in the field. Mr.Bop is also very "high functioning" which is so different from peoples "rain man" perspective of Autism. I am so excited that we might have found something for him!! Now there is something for everyone here, which really does effect our deliberation as far as to move or not to move goes.

Speaking of which, we are going to look at a place this weekend. 30 acres with and old house on it about 30-ish minutes from town in an area that we both really love....huge mountains, beautiful lake, thick forests that are not all pine. The draw behind this, other then its obvious beauty, is that there is a house that might be good enough to live in while we build. It also has power, septic and a well already in place which saves us a huge amount of time and work....we're feeling pretty done in the work category right now!! I'll keep you posted!

Here are a few pic's of our adventures in the greenbelt with Jess.

Me bellydancing at the fall fair with my new orange costume pieces that my mama got me for my birthday!

Monday, September 1, 2008

~manifesting the dream~

I can barely believe how full my heart is! Bursting in fact.

~~~A dream is a wish your heart makes, when your fast asleep~~~

my heart made a wish when I was fast asleep, snuggled into my sisters bed. our tiny forms cradled beneath the weight of blankets and happenings too intense for ones so small. the heart of a child is a resilient thing...inspired by pain and troubles with a need to change the world.

I think both our hearts made wishes all those years ago. Wishes that would motivate us to push beyond our circumstances. Wishes that would force us to become more then the layers of our history ever expected.

Dreams of childhood can reappear when you least expect it. As a vision in the most grief stricken times.....a vision that pulls us through and propels us beyond that moment. As a mantra that becomes so much more then a dream as adulthood's experience shifts dreams into reality.

I am a shifter of dreams.

So often we hear people declare, as they reach the end of their lives, that life passed them by. We humans get so caught up in then happenings of every day life; bill payments, mortgages, job advancement, saving for retirement, making crazy amounts of money...or at least trying to, amassing mountains of stuff. We forget that we need soulful fulfillment. We NEED to take time to manifest our dreams into reality. We NEED to experience miracles....wondrous and beautiful....unexplainable. We NEED to listen to the wind and answer when we feel called to do more.

In my dreams I was in a desolate place....enveloped in poverty and grief. I heard the cries of babies....hundreds of babies, desperate to be held, to be nursed....to be Loved. And I Loved them. I Loved them so much that I thought I would burst. So much that I felt the very core of me change with it. Love. so much Love.

And I held them. All of them, nourished by my breast and the heart that beat beneath. Bathed in the light that true Love radiates.

The crying stopped. solace called and a peaceful calm replied. we were together, we were healed. by Love.

So here I am, so many moons later. My dream, my mantra beating within my heart. And now the Love that was conceived by my childhood dream sees the potential for a shift into reality.

I am humbled. exhilarated. frightened. inspired. moved to tears. overwhelmed. propelled. focused. elated...Brave.........

I am taking it slow, for on this journey I am not alone. My husband humbles me with his faithful support. There are moments when I doubt that he will be with me here on this path, but I am endlessly warmed by his presence beside me. His steadfast belief in me...even when my dreams bring me to a place so far from anything that resembles "the norm", finds me reassured.

We have talked about these dreams since we first met and even when I am doubtful of my path he reminds me of the truth within me and my ability to answer this call with Strength and Love. Love. regardless of the judgments laid upon us or the opinions of others. He knows my heart and soul. He knows that we NEED to follow our dreams to fruitation, to find fulfillment in this fleeting life.

And so the shift has happened.....dream, wish, reality..... and this leg of the journey begins.