~Wordless Wednseday~ (almost☺)

My last performance with the Baladi Babes, August 8th, 2009. I'm going to miss you girls!! Wish I could pack you up and take you with me!

wow..for me?? really??!!

I must share my excitement....I just can't keep it to myself!! So, my dear friend A makes an announcement at dance class that there is going to be a Tribal Fusion belly dance workshop happening on the coast in March. Ooooooo, I say, who, where, when??? Ariellah she say.....Ariellah?! Really??!!

Okay, I tend to watch a fair bit of YouTube. Tribal belly dance videos specifically, and miss Ariellah happens to be one of the few dancers that I really enjoy. She does gothic belly dance, which, while it is not quite my thing, is still rather striking. The way she moves. Her expression and choreography are amazing! So, needless to say I am tempted, REALLY tempted to go. Just to top it off, A lets me know that if I can't afford it I can go along with her as her "helper". She manufactures tribal belly dance clothes and imports jewelry from the far reaches of the earth and will be the only vendor at the event...a vendor in need of a helper.

So here in begins my struggle. You see, I have never been without my Sweetie Boy. The longest we have been apart was last year when I took a day long workshop 5 minutes from my house. This is entirely different. I will be 5 hours away. Gone from early Friday until late Sunday. Now, Sweetie boy is super secure and LOVES being with Dad-e-o. Heck, on weekend I'm not even aloud to get the wee one out of his car seat...."Daddy me out, Daddy!" okay, okay, I hear you.
Not only that but he rarely nurses (well, except on days like today where I swear he thinks he's a newborn again!) only a few time a day, and he doesn't nurse during the night anymore.

The truth of the matter is that it will be harder on me then it will be on him. So, after days of deliberation and consultation I have decided...........

...............drum roll please..............

to go!
I am sooooo excited. I start making plans to spend all dance free time with my soul sista Jess, ecstatic to have a night out in the big city. But as I'm going over all these plans I begin to think, maybe, just maybe, there is some way I could spend my time more wisely. I mean, if I' going to be spending time away shouldn't I be doing something functional?? something logical??

So I start looking into doula training programs in the area. I have a whole shwack of training and workshops under my belt but I'm missing one bit of certification that I need for this job for a government funded organization that will pay for Doula's for young mama's and those who don't have the funds to pay for a Doula themselves. I REALLY want to work there, and they have been patiently waiting for Sweetie boy to be old enough that I can leave him with Dad-e-o to attend births.

Well, as I'm driving Dad-e-o back to work one afternoon (we share a truck right now) I ask him what his thoughts are on me choosing to take the Doula training instead of the dance workshop. It's a bit more expensive, I explain, but it will mean an income for me in the not to distant future AND I can add it to my bushel of certificates when I apply for midwifery school a few years from now.

He turn and looks at me....trys not to laugh.

What? I say....am I missing something.

Apparently so...He goes on to say, in a VERY sarcastic tone, that I don't deserve to have things for ME, and that how could I even think of spending money on myself...lazy, good for nothing, selfish women...
by now he IS laughing.

What? I just...well I mean, I thought that if I had to choose one the Doula would be more logical!

He looks at me again, seriously this time. "Do both.....if you had to do one I would say go dance...go do something for you that has NOTHING to do with children. Refuel! You deserve this!"

Honestly, the though NEVER crossed my mind. I so rarely spend money on myself (not that we have money to spend). There is always a child who needs a coat, or a truck that needs a part, or property tax that needs to be paid. There is never money left over for mama. Let alone money for me to take 2 workshops, both things I LOVE with a passion.

The rest of the drive I could barely contain my excitement. I kept looking over at him with this stupid grin on my face like I had just won the lottery or something. The truth is I feel like I have. I feel appreciated, like he actually sees me. Sees everything I do for our family, all the sacrifices I make out of love for our children. He is saying thank you, and I will say your welcome...and I will go, with a heart full of gratitude!!

~Sighs of Contentment~

We have been working hard.....really hard.....I am tempted to write fricken, fricken hard, simply to express the level of craziness to our hard workin'. Dad-e-o and I have been, as many of you know, working on our house in preparation to sell. This complete remodel has included taking down walls, rebuilding spaces, building the cabinets for the bathrooms and kitchen, building and installing all the doors and windows, laying hardwood floor and tile, painting....oh...and that lovely and utterly disgusting task of drywalling, plumbing and electrical work, lighting, creating a new bathroom, building stairs for the deck as well as a roof extension and railings...which in turn required painting, landscaping.... I must be forgetting something but you get the idea. We have done this all ourselves and 90% of it since March. Needless to say we are getting a wee touch exhausted.

But...we are nearly done!!! The excitement that is building is electric. Soon, so soon, we will have sold this house. We will be on the road, traveling with our beautiful children across Canada for around 2 months. When I look around this house I find it almost hard to believe that WE did this. Designed and created such a exquisitely beautiful space. There is no doubt in my mind that this house will sell as soon as it hits the market. And when it does....AWAY WE Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway...the whole purpose of this post was to write about my blissfully relaxing day yesterday. We took a break! (I can hear all you jaws hitting the floor) yes, we, as in dad-e-o AND I along side our children. After spending the morning hard at work painting the deck (me) and working in the shop (Adam) we put down our tools, rinsed of the sweat and headed off to the Garlic festival. Our intention was only to stay for the duration of my performance (did I mention I'm a belly dancer?) and then head back home and back into the grubbies. The performance was awesome! Astrid, Celine and I shimmied our hearts out in the blazing sun....wow, was it HOT!! Afterwards as we were driving home Dad-e-o declares that we need to go to the beach. Its far to hot to work outside anyway, he says. Alright...I'm in.....whoops of glee and delight from the back seats tell me that the troops are thrilled with the idea so home we go to put on bathing suits and grab towels and snacks.

We decide to check out Green Lake, which turns out to be a fabulous choice and only about 45 min from home. The beach is sandy, the water clear, and, you guessed it, green! We spend an afternoon blissed out in the sun, refreshed by the water and the simple pleasure that being together brings. Man, I do sooo love my family! We hadn't been there 5 minutes and Mr. Bop had a jar filled with fresh water shrimp and some kind of crazy water beetle....my budding biologist.

As the slant of the sun shifts everything to orange we head home. Everyones need for water and lovin's fulfilled. I can hear sighs of contentment as we drive, sand between our toes, hair and tangle of wind and sun. And I wonder if we would be so thankful, so truly grateful for this gift of an afternoon, had we not been working so hard for so many weeks.

Next we just need to remeber the camera!!......although I'm sure the image in my mind will stay with me as long as my heart beats!