Thursday, May 6, 2010

~ the unexpected~

I met him and fell in love.  
It was unexpected.  
I knew I would find him sweet... all babies are sweet, and I am , after all, a baby whisperer...I knew that I would give him cuddles, oh and ah over the cuteness that is his tiny little fists.  
But this?  This I did not expect.

He is tiny, on the planet only 8 short weeks.  He is perfect.  I dream about him all the time...awake or asleep.  
I want to be his mama so bad that it physically hurts.  
It has been 5 weeks since I left....5 weeks.
I want to be his mama.
I did not expect this.

He is creamy white, not chocolate brown.... although his eyes, his eyes will be mine.

I wonder at that.  I know that still, while we are in this mode of settling, of buying our home, that Ethiopia is still a ways away.  I can wait.  I am patient.  

But in the time between now and then I have heart has many spaces waiting to be filled....but one? one of those spaces ha been filled by him.  by his perfection.  by his essence that enraptures me in a way so he was always my son even before he was conceived by another mother.

I don't even know if its possible.  I want the very best in the world for him.  That he will be loved and nurtured.  That he will always know, never ever doubt that he is loved.

He live many miles away.

I love him.


Kimberly said...

Oh honey. I don't know the details but my heart is ACHING after reading that.

daniela said...

me too. sending you miracle vibes! glenn sometimes watches the show 18kids & counting--everytime he puts it on, i think of you. wishing you a house full of little squeals & giggles.