Monday, February 9, 2009

~With our own 12 hands~

For those of you who have been reading for a while you will remember that our house is for sale. (new readers~ my first few posts talk a bit about this if you feel so inclined to read back) After months and months of ceaseless labour our finished home was placed on the market....and there it has sat. We took it of for a few weeks to take care of some banking business and last night we re-listed, lowering the price.

Dad-e-o and I had a great conversation after our realtor left and the kids were tucked in. The question we mulled...What are we going to do? What do we want?

We've been kind of avoiding both of these thoughts. Just enjoying this time of quiet and the break from such heavy work. We've briefly checked out listings, but there is nothing we're interested in.

When we first started working on our house with the vision to sell held steadily in focus, we planned to build when we sold. We weren't just planning to build any ol' house but a passive solar straw bale home of our own design. And while we built?? we planned to live in a yurt and enjoy the simple life. We wanted to become a self sufficient as possible...a huge garden and green house, chickens, goats...maybe even horses. We wanted Dad-e-o to be able to build a shop/studio on our property and create his art at home. We wanted to live as minimalistaically as possible and build our house by bartering with friends and trading with other folks who would become friends. We wanted to reduce our mortgage to nearly nothing so that we can actually LIVE our life and take time to do all of the things that we dream of doing.

As our house came nearer to completion we realized 2 things. (well, many things actually, but 2 more predominant) 1. That building a house ourselves while homeschooling and such was a LOT of work...maybe more then we wanted to tackle at this point. and 2. that we couldn't afford to buy vacant land because the bank wanted us to finish our house on what we consider to be a totally unrealistic time frame. We wanted to build our house slowly...without the stress of dates pushing us to burn ourselves out.

So we decided to look into buying a house on acreage...a relatively finished house. The thing is, every time we look we get this feeling like we should just turn off the computer and do something else. Like we are somehow missing the other part of the picture.

We were sitting last night, in the living room, Dad-e-o putting fresh strings on a few of our guitars, me nursing sleepy Sweetie Boy, ponder the questions.....what do we really want?

Are we going to buy some house that doesn't need a tone of work? A house that will essentially keep us right where we a place that doesn't equate to our life style. A house that leaves us with an "affordable" mortgage. A house that is so conducive to this typical western way of living...a way of living that we will settle for?

Something just feels wrong about that.

So then maybe we should just stay here? This house has been transformed into something that is not only esthetically beautiful but energetically as well. We have used as many "green" building methods as we could. We designed it so that the energy of a large family could flow through it in a calm manner, where there is a place for everything. It is on 3/4 of an acre in a beautiful neighborhood close to all "amenities". This house is nicer then anything we can afford...granted we can transform a hole in the ground into something breathtaking in a matter of months BUT....

we need to keep moving forward. We need to keep our vision in our minds. We can't just settle for mediocrity because the market is slower, it's easier or because our vision requires work. Something else that I've realized is that I actually LIKE work..really hard work that keeps you so busy you don't have time to be bored or idle. Work that propels you towards something, manifesting the vision with your own 2 hands. There is something so soulfully rewarding about this kind of work.

As our conversation moved and shifted we came to realize that on sooo many levels we NEED to keep our focus on our vision. Every time we try to shift our focus to a more "normal" picture it just feels wrong. And so we went to bed with a renewed inspiration...we may not know exactly how, but we will manifest our vision, with our own 2 hands....well, with our own 12 hands.
(and more when our new babies come home...many hands create light work)

(You can scroll down to the bottom of the page to turn off the music and listen to the video)


LexiconLuvr said...

I am so fascinated to learn more about you! I have never met a person like you. I wish I could take you out for lunch and just yap it up all afternoon and ask you millions of questions. Unfortunately---I can't. But thanks to the miracle of the internet, I can still read about you and learn more about your lifestyle. I am so in love with it. Can't wait to hear more!

My heart is with you as you focus on your vision. May everything go the way you need it to and hopefully, your vision will soon be a reality.

with love and hope,

Homeopath said...

I noticed that one of your interests was healing energy. I am new to blogger but intend on postings some more interesting entries there that you might enjoy. I’m trying to enlighten people about homeopathy. Your blog is great.

Kimberly said...

So many amazing things on the horizon for you, luv! Your sweetheart is so amazing to see what you need even more clearly that you do!