Thursday, August 28, 2008

~stradeling the fence~

My mind has been on one thing for so long......renovation. Its been going on for 3 1/2 years now but its really been in the last year that we have done NOTHING else. Being immersed in a project this large has really engulfed both Dad-e-o and I. I am however, glad to announce that we are beginning to think of other things!!! You know what this means??? We really ARE almost done. Things left on our to-do list: fill pinner holes in woodwork, tung oil plugs in woodwork, finish painting the deck (which is 75% done), finish putting on trim in and out, wash windows, install shelving/rods in closets, seal grout in entry, put screens on windows/doors, cover bathroom vent w/wood beam, get eavstrough's installed on deck extension. Other then that its clean up and yard maintenance....thats it!!! Holy Kershomly!!

We've been talking a lot about what we are doing with our future. Weighing heavily in on the subject of moving. We really need to make sure that what ever decision we make is THOROUGHLY thought through...every pro and con weighed, every detail addressed. In so many ways where we live provides us with everything we need. Close friends and family. A community that I have really made an effort to be actively involved in. Work for Dad-e-o as well as a need for my skills as doula and childbirth educator. ( I can hear you thinking, Why would you ever move??) But....the big question is~ Do we want to stay here forever??

When we sell our house we will be buying land. We will build our dream house~ a passive solar timber frame straw bale, as well as Dad-e-o's shop in which he can work from home. I will plant huge gardens, have chickens and a year round green house...maybe even goats if I can get my kids to drink the milk. We do not plan to ever move again. I want to have a nursery in my house in which my children and there children will play. I want to put down serious roots...see my perennials flower year after year. I want my children to be able to frolic in the forest as children and re-visit those forts and pathways as teenagers. This will be our forever home.

And this, dear friends, is why it is sooooo important to us that we make the right choice for our family. We will not be moving later on down the road if we find that Nelson wasn't quite what we'd hoped it would be or if we find that there just isn't enough to offer our children in this tiny little town.

But there has been a shift in my heart....I no longer feel fearful of making the wrong choice. When I look to the future it is with a light heart and an open mind. Being here, in a place where I can think about more then just renovations, I find my heart looking towards various other aspect of our future. I suppose its kind of been like pregnancy. When your pregnant you think about your tiny baby. You obsess over the eminent birth and the rather short post partum period. You might skim over childhood/adulthood lightly but real the focus is the immediate future. Once you give birth however, the child, the amazing, ever evolving, completely unique child becomes the focus. And as time progresses you look back and laugh at how, during pregnancy birth seemed like the culmination of your existence, but now it was just a blip (be it a life changing/soul altering/earth shifting blip) in the vast landscape of parenthood.

So this house is our baby...born beautiful and awe inspiring. And now as we sit here and our focus shifts to everything the will be wrought through the painful birthing process that has been these renovations. (by the way, as time passes you'll come to see that nearly everything relates back to birth in my mind)

well....the purpose of this post was suppose to be the things we have actually had time to think about lately. I guess I will have to wait until later as my time for blogging has drawn to a close this morning. I will however leave you with this.

My heart is full of babies!

more on this when next we speak....or write/read.

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

Uncertainty can be so crippling to the soul. I'm glad you're feeling the weight of the decisions that need to be made lift a bit, and I hope that whatever path you take, you will be able see clearly towards your destination and not be afflicted by worries or doubts. You've worked so hard. I think you deserve that kind of clarity.