~your opinion please~

At the end of August we are going camping with a whole shwack of families from the "little hamlet of loveliness"

...exciting? yes.

inspiring? yes.

do we all fit in our little 3 man tent? no.

do we need gear? yes....everything from cook stoves/coolers/stuff.......



So for all you camping folks out there: What is your favorite, must have camping item?

It has been years since we last tented it.....hmmm....pre-kids?? (I know, I know....but seriously...4 kids+moving+renovations+homeschooling=VERY busy!!) We are determined to be fully outfitted so that we can make camping a regular event...at least a few times a year. I find it kinda odd that we haven't been in so lone...Adam and I both LOVE camping/ kayaking/ canoeing/ hiking.

First on the list: a tent that will endure weather/many ups&downs/ruff and tumble kiddo's and big enough for our growing family (8 person)


my thought: Big Agnes Flying Diamond 8 Tent

a bit more $ but it seems super durable and I can order it the Mountain Equipment Co-op.

hmmm...okay outdoorsy folks...I need your expertise!

like a balm of ~ ((sigh))

I am experiencing all manner of emotion right now........(there's a word for that, but I don't seem to know it) mostly I feel light...like a warm glow...like a balm of ((sigh))...release...relief....

We just accepted an offer on our house!!!!!!!

Only waiting for the removal of a few "subject too's" and we will be officially SOLD!

((breathe))

We have been in limbo for almost a year after doing an insane renovation for 2 years...it is time. We will move by the end of August...back to this little hamlet of loveliness.

And just in time for the beginning of the new "school" year! It perfect......we just need to find our new house☺

The key here is not to hold my breath between now and the subject removal date....

(here are a few pic's from our recent trip to the big city)

~Wordless Wednesday~

how

how does one get through this...how do I??
tears roll down my cheeks as my husband reaches out to touch me...sooth me....
his presence invites me to spill.
I am open here in a way I don't understand.
I am angry.
I want to help but my hands, tied behind my back, do little that I can see.

when I call..his voice every day seems farther...or closer....like I could reach out and touch him...but the miles stack up like odds against me and I fear them.
I fear their ability to hold me captive like some random psycho bank robber holding me on the other side of a panel of glass.

and then, from somewhere within me comes the cold....the sniffling cold that tells me the miles aren't the only odds I have to dance with. Patience of a new sort is being tested in me as I bath in oil of oregano...pleading for this to go away so that I can traverse the hills and valleys just to say
"I love you"
"your not alone....see?? I am here....here to do nothing more then be..."

be what??

i don't know

be your daughter....and you my father...everything else can fall away...the pain...the cancer...the chemo...years...money...time...miles.....it all means nothing

but I love you...that means something.

~laughter is the best medicine~ *re-post from Jan 18*

*I had to re-post this this morning...I am sick but smiling. A combination that I get to revisit from time to time (fortunatly not breast infectin this time☺)*

He says I look beautiful.

Maybe its the sweaty, tousled hair, the rosy cheeks and shinning eyes.
Maybe its the vulnerability that illness brings.

He says I look sexy.

I smile.
He wraps his arms around me and kisses my sweaty forehead.
I laugh, hope he doesn't breathe in to deeply.
Sweat gives off more then a shinning glow you know.

He says laughter is medicine.

He's right.
He is my Patch Adams and I already feel better.
Sure my breast is still inflamed, my feverish body is still exhausted, my head is pounding with an evil migraine that somehow always accompanies mastitis in my world.
But I am smiling.
My heart is whole and I feel lifted by what he gives me. I can feel my body relaxing and I KNOW that if I can truly relax my body WILL heal.

He comes up beside me munching an apple.
"I know this sound cheesy" he says "but, I really do eat an apple a day."
Did I mention that he NEVER gets sick?

"Just wondering....do you?"
I smile as the sun reflects on his juice splattered lips while he chews, grinning.
No....maybe an apple a week. What is this, hubby's right about everything day??

It is gloriously bright this morning.
I am smiling, as I reach for an apple.