~I am a human bassinet~

Sweetie Boy has been on me for nearly 4 days straight. Day and night. Waking ever half hour to cough and nurse. Wailing at the misery of it all.

Honey hasn't left the couch for 3 days. Her fever is running high and her cough brings tears to both our eyes.

This is when I need that extra set of arms that everyone's always talking about. One for each sweet child in need rather then only one set for the child who needs them most.

I am counting down the minutes until Dad-e-o gets home. Trying to decide whether I should go to dance tonight for a little bit of re-fueling mama time. Sweetie Boy is definitely on the upswing...and he has been nursing/napping on me for 3 hours now. Maybe he'll be alright to snuggle with Dad-e-o and read Grumpy Bird and Baby Beluga over and over. Honey will be in bed right after supper....hmmmm. But let us not forget that it's snowing, just to top it off. Maybe if it stops before dance I should take it as a sign. A mama-needs-to-get-outta-the-house-before-she-loses-her-mind sign.

Did I mention my bum is numb? oh, and you don't even want to see my kitchen. (down right disgusting)
((sigh))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well, Honeys fever just went up again. I switched her to Belladonna, a homeopathic remedy that seems to really grasp the picture of her illness. Crossing my fingers that it helps.

Sweetie Boy woke rather cheery and played for a few blessed minutes while I tended to Honey.

I guess there will be no dance tonight....ah well, next week.

Only minutes until Dad-e-o arrives on his valiant steed....my hero!

~20 totally random things about me~

1. I yearn to live minimalistically....I would love to dwell in a yurt with my family with only the essentials, of course this includes instruments and art supplies.



2.I am allergic to horses, which is unfortunate as our darling Beena Loves to ride. The up side: we have discovered a breed of horse that is "hypoallergenic" so we're crossing our fingers that we can still realize our dream of horses in the pasture on our land.



3. The first time I sang in public I was 4. The song was called Wisdom...it was rather prophetic, describing me so well.


"Wisdom, Wisdom make me strong,
Bring me joy when birds have lost their song.
Wisdom, Wisdom I love you more then gold.
All my heart will seek for you until I'm very old."


I sing this song with my children♥



4.I dream to record an album with my husband some day....there is magic in the music between us.



5.A friend once called me "the baby whisperer" and the thought made my soul sing.



6.For many years I was held captive by the fear of illness. I have been liberated from this fear which inspires me more then I can say.



7.Watching our children grow gives me more joy then I though possible.



8.I love to cry. Tears heal me and I find so much more is released then the moment seems to call for. My tears often make my hubby smile for they are rarely tears of sadness.



9.I feel blessed to have the love that I do....overflowing and ever fruitful



10. Dancing frees my soul and re-balances my mind.



11.I LOVE to cook....especially while listening to something fantastic and dancing all the while.



12. It's true, I'm a health nut.



13. I am very opinionated.



14.I am learning when to speak and when to listen.



15. I love unconditionally, with all of my being.



16.I believe that the moon cycles of a women are sacred. There is a power within the celebration of our womanhood in its completeness and I truly believe that so much of the world will change when the pain that lays within our centers is healed.



17.I love oatmeal.



18.I wonder if my dream of being a midwife will ever manifest...I wonder if I want it to



19.adoption has been a dream my whole life. Recently I have come to realize that the time is coming soon...my heart has already left on its journey across the sea.



20.I see a harp in my future.

~Our Natural Rhythm~

I am excited!

There is so much to do. So much to learn.

We had decided that this year we would take the typical 2 week Christmas break that the schools take. Allow extra time for crafts and general festiveness. The problem with that was that I ended up with this odd sense of floundering...like I somehow lost my purpose. Silly, I know. You'd think one would welcome a break from crazy busy land BUT I am realizing that something is shifting in me. I thrive on crazy busy land. I am inspired by everything that I have to get done in a day. I rarely ever feel idle. I nearly always feel productive. AND because I have chosen to live my life inspired, my days are filled with tasks that I enjoy. (well, except cleaning the bathroom.....and a little laundry elf would be really helpful)

There is a wonderful rythym to the way our year flows. In September, when the weather shifts and the children spend more time indoors, we begin doing morning lessons. Our lessons are based on what our children want to learn so we are all eager to journey through.

During the depths of winter, which are rather long and very cold here, we craft more, invent more, bake more. These things naturally fill the space that is created by the cold temperatures and need to be indoors.

When spring arrive we spill outdoors, spending hours walking, preparing the soil for planting, collecting...watching the earth wake up. By the time April draws to a close we are done our morning lessons for the year. We have completed that same amount of "learning weeks" as public schools (36 weeks), but having taken no holiday weeks we are officially "done" the 3rd week of April.

Summer is spent barefoot. Hours drift by in the garden. Habitats are built for little critters. Fairies can be seen climbing trees and bouncing happily on the trampoline. We hike and bike, swim and build sand sculptures, harvest and preserve. Curiosity is every child's innate gift and we are all educated by the fruits of the season and explorations that are brought to us on the warm breeze.

So I've realized something. I don't need to take a "break" from "schooling". We don't "school", we LIVE!! Oh, I really do feel so blessed by this affirmation. I guess one could say that by taking a "break" I really gave myself a gift. The gift of understanding and of acceptance that we flow in a way that is natural to us. That is right for us. A way that works so well for our family that we are filled by our very existence.

~winter images~

Hunting for and finding the perfect tree to thin from an over crowded cluster

Sweetie Boy freshly awake from nap-land.

The LOVES of my life!

Getting outside for a few minutes of fresh air in the brrrrr cold (-25)

Honey in the sunshine and our Winter Wonderland

Honey getting ready for her first dance performance.

Sweetie Boy trying to walk in skates....to cute!

Our Christmas tree...all 12.5 feet of it. (it didn't look that big outside!)

Sweeite Boy and his boat...his new favorite thing.

Love!

Holly, the doll I made for Honey.

Blessed Mama

~So long 2008~

It has been a wild year. Wild and wonderful. When I look back and see how things have shifted I am humbled and inspired. This life is so exciting!! I just made a video for all our family who live miles and miles away...a compilation of photos from the past year, and WOW did it ever put things into perspective!

I saw our house stripped down to studs and the reconstructed and made into the beautiful sanctuary that it is now.

I saw our beautiful children grow and change, becoming more even beautiful and brilliant as time passed.

I saw the confidence grow in my husbands eyes as he labored to create the home we envisioned...manifesting it so completely.

There have been so many changes this year.

Again I was reaffirmed that our decision to home school is the best for our family. That allowing our children to lead their own learning will take our family on the most amazing of journeys.

This was the year that I finally joined belly dance, something I have wanted to do for years. I discovered how fulfilling it was to actually take time for myself and do something I love and watched how the magic of that reflected in all areas of my life.

There was so little time for community activities, friends and even family that we were able to really see what we were missing and truly appreciate what it is that we have here in our little town in the forest. We were able to realize how much we value the relationships we have built and the way that we have woven ourselves into the tapestry that is this wonderful community. I could feel our roots digging deeper as we realized that we really do want to stay here.

This was the year that music re-awoke within my husband. I watch as he composes and am in awe of his gift.

This was the year that our son was diagnosed autistic. The year I began to teach those around me who work with children on the spectrum a different way to look at Autism. This was the year I was truly affirmed in the amazing brilliance of our son and was able to truly advocate for the empowerment and celebration of Autism as a gift.

This was the year that my heart took flight and soared across the ocean. The year I realized that the time was nearing to manifest our dream of adopting and that somewhere in Ethiopia, at some point in the not to distant future, we would find the children that would complete our family.

This was the year my Heart grew. It excites me to imagine where I'll be when my hair is long and white and I awake with the dawn to do yoga in my garden....so many years of blossoming left, I can't even wrap my head around it!

And so I welcome 2009 with an open heart, full of anticipation, inspiration and excitment!