~Our Natural Rhythm~

I am excited!

There is so much to do. So much to learn.

We had decided that this year we would take the typical 2 week Christmas break that the schools take. Allow extra time for crafts and general festiveness. The problem with that was that I ended up with this odd sense of floundering...like I somehow lost my purpose. Silly, I know. You'd think one would welcome a break from crazy busy land BUT I am realizing that something is shifting in me. I thrive on crazy busy land. I am inspired by everything that I have to get done in a day. I rarely ever feel idle. I nearly always feel productive. AND because I have chosen to live my life inspired, my days are filled with tasks that I enjoy. (well, except cleaning the bathroom.....and a little laundry elf would be really helpful)

There is a wonderful rythym to the way our year flows. In September, when the weather shifts and the children spend more time indoors, we begin doing morning lessons. Our lessons are based on what our children want to learn so we are all eager to journey through.

During the depths of winter, which are rather long and very cold here, we craft more, invent more, bake more. These things naturally fill the space that is created by the cold temperatures and need to be indoors.

When spring arrive we spill outdoors, spending hours walking, preparing the soil for planting, collecting...watching the earth wake up. By the time April draws to a close we are done our morning lessons for the year. We have completed that same amount of "learning weeks" as public schools (36 weeks), but having taken no holiday weeks we are officially "done" the 3rd week of April.

Summer is spent barefoot. Hours drift by in the garden. Habitats are built for little critters. Fairies can be seen climbing trees and bouncing happily on the trampoline. We hike and bike, swim and build sand sculptures, harvest and preserve. Curiosity is every child's innate gift and we are all educated by the fruits of the season and explorations that are brought to us on the warm breeze.

So I've realized something. I don't need to take a "break" from "schooling". We don't "school", we LIVE!! Oh, I really do feel so blessed by this affirmation. I guess one could say that by taking a "break" I really gave myself a gift. The gift of understanding and of acceptance that we flow in a way that is natural to us. That is right for us. A way that works so well for our family that we are filled by our very existence.

~winter images~

Hunting for and finding the perfect tree to thin from an over crowded cluster

Sweetie Boy freshly awake from nap-land.

The LOVES of my life!

Getting outside for a few minutes of fresh air in the brrrrr cold (-25)

Honey in the sunshine and our Winter Wonderland

Honey getting ready for her first dance performance.

Sweetie Boy trying to walk in skates....to cute!

Our Christmas tree...all 12.5 feet of it. (it didn't look that big outside!)

Sweeite Boy and his boat...his new favorite thing.

Love!

Holly, the doll I made for Honey.

Blessed Mama

~So long 2008~

It has been a wild year. Wild and wonderful. When I look back and see how things have shifted I am humbled and inspired. This life is so exciting!! I just made a video for all our family who live miles and miles away...a compilation of photos from the past year, and WOW did it ever put things into perspective!

I saw our house stripped down to studs and the reconstructed and made into the beautiful sanctuary that it is now.

I saw our beautiful children grow and change, becoming more even beautiful and brilliant as time passed.

I saw the confidence grow in my husbands eyes as he labored to create the home we envisioned...manifesting it so completely.

There have been so many changes this year.

Again I was reaffirmed that our decision to home school is the best for our family. That allowing our children to lead their own learning will take our family on the most amazing of journeys.

This was the year that I finally joined belly dance, something I have wanted to do for years. I discovered how fulfilling it was to actually take time for myself and do something I love and watched how the magic of that reflected in all areas of my life.

There was so little time for community activities, friends and even family that we were able to really see what we were missing and truly appreciate what it is that we have here in our little town in the forest. We were able to realize how much we value the relationships we have built and the way that we have woven ourselves into the tapestry that is this wonderful community. I could feel our roots digging deeper as we realized that we really do want to stay here.

This was the year that music re-awoke within my husband. I watch as he composes and am in awe of his gift.

This was the year that our son was diagnosed autistic. The year I began to teach those around me who work with children on the spectrum a different way to look at Autism. This was the year I was truly affirmed in the amazing brilliance of our son and was able to truly advocate for the empowerment and celebration of Autism as a gift.

This was the year that my heart took flight and soared across the ocean. The year I realized that the time was nearing to manifest our dream of adopting and that somewhere in Ethiopia, at some point in the not to distant future, we would find the children that would complete our family.

This was the year my Heart grew. It excites me to imagine where I'll be when my hair is long and white and I awake with the dawn to do yoga in my garden....so many years of blossoming left, I can't even wrap my head around it!

And so I welcome 2009 with an open heart, full of anticipation, inspiration and excitment!

~Gestating Elephant Style~

So, is it at all normal to feel such intense swells of emotion? My heart in my throat, my eyes welling up with tears. I realize that in my last post, written just this morning, I talked about patience and faith and believing. And its not that I don't truly feel/know those to be reality....it's just I'm not sure I can handle waiting to bring home our sweet babes from so far, far away.

Here I am, 9:34 at night, kids in bed, hubby in bed, cup of Tension tamer tea in hand reading adoption blog after adoption blog. Every 2 minutes I feel the tears well up again and I think...sheesh!! this is soooooo much like early pregnancy. Or when your pregnant and don't know it yet. I can almost see the rush of hormones any time I even think of our babies. And when I read about these families who are waiting for referrals or waiting for their court dates or waiting to travel I think "it all takes so long.....how can we wait to begin??!!" Or at least how can I wait to begin. It is all so much easier for Dad-e-o. He is not pulled by his heart strings the same way I am. He doesn't gestate in the same all encompassing way that I do. There is so much else going on in our lives with moving/children/work/music that it is easier for him to hold on to the knowledge that we will start once we've settled into our new home and taken our kids on our cross Canada journey. ahhhhh, why can't I jump into his head and just chill in that mind frame for a while??!! Just kick back and live the whole "be here now" loveliness that Ram Dass was talking about.

Oh Ram Dass....where for art thou?? lolol, but seriously, I find myself ebbing and flowing with stormy tidal ferocity. Crashing into obsession and then pulling myself out into distraction. Obsession, distraction, obsession, distraction...

BUT...it really does make sense to wait. Our house is for sale. When it sells, hopefully in late winter/early spring we will move to our new, currently undetermined home. We will take 2 of my sisters kids for 2 weeks in April as she and her hubby travel to Israel. When they get home we will go on our greatly anticipated 1-2 month trip across Canada. When we return home we will settle into our house plant gardens, build a greenhouse, dig a root cellar, preserve loads of food for winter and help our children settle into our new rhythm. By then it will be early Autumn and this is when we can contact Imagine and begin putting together our dossier to send off to Ethiopia.

Makes sense, ci? Now if only I can help my heart to understand that it makes sense. Or at the very least that what is meant to be will be. Maybe I should go and read my previous post.

~The Future is Now~

We are sitting in limbo. That illusive place without definition where form and feature are blurred by the fog of uncertainty.

I usually don't like limbo. Generally speaking I LOATH it, but... I am learning a new kind of patience. The kind of patience that is birthed of necessity. The options: become more patient or end up in the "green bed". (losing my mind) I am not such a fan of feeling like I am on the verge of insanity and so, patience it is.

Our house has become a sanctuary. A place to relax...yes, relax. (we have time to do that now...well, kind of anyway) A space in which we can ponder the future. Wonder at the undefined possibilities. Re-evaluate our needs as a family and as individuals.

Its odd to be feeling so very contented about the whole thing. Faith has wrapped itself around my doubtful heart and warmed me from the inside out. Doubt melted away to reveal the core of me...the core that really, truly believes.

I believe that what is meant to be will be. I believe that we attract to ourselves exactly what we need. I believe that the future is a beautiful thing. I believe that faith is key.

I know I needed a break. My hubby needed a break. We needed to reacquaint ourselves with ourselves. And now, with this pause in our lives, we have been gifted the opportunity to do just that. To find our place on this path. To journey forward with sure steps. Affirmed that this truly is the direction we are meant to go without needing to know where we will end up.

The future is full of music and creation. Dance and friendships. Travel and adventure. Roots and branches. Of babies and children....our ever growing family. Home and Heart.

The Future is Now.